Navigating everyday life with a neurodiverse child can be a challenge. To me, each day seems like a balancing act as I strive to manage the behaviors associated with Sebastian’s Autism and ADHD.
Sebastian received a Kindle for Christmas when he was five years old. He immediately fell in love with taking pictures and videos, and so the Kindle has become his obsession. He’s rarely unattached to it — everywhere he goes, the blue Kindle goes with him. At the end of any given Saturday, he will have taken nearly 600 videos and pictures. Most of them are ones that he’ll never look at again.
I’ve asked him why he loves his Kindle so much, and he doesn’t really have a good answer. He just likes it. I theorize that taking pictures and recording videos are how his brain processes the world. I’m definitely in awe of his passion for photography and videography.
Lately, however, Sebastian hasn’t been able to maintain a healthy balance. He has a strong desire to control his environment in order to capture the perfect shot, which often leads to frustration when things don’t go as planned. The pressure to achieve exactly what he envisions can be overwhelming, making it difficult for him to enjoy the creative process. It’s heartbreaking to see him struggle with this, since he just wants to express himself and share his perspective. But the process often leaves him feeling defeated and upset.
These experiences are even carrying over into his swim meets, where he’ll have a meltdown if I don’t record a video exactly the way he wants. The stress of needing everything to be just right often overshadows the joy of the event.
I’ve even tried putting clear and specific restrictions on the use of his Kindle, but even with those in place, he still struggles to remain calm. Ultimately, I don’t want to take away his Kindle, since I know how much he engages with it and how much happiness it brings him. I also recognize, though, that taking it away may be what’s best for him.
As his mother, it’s an incredibly difficult decision, but I believe that creating a more balanced environment is critical for him to thrive. My hope is that, in time, we can find a way for him to enjoy his Kindle without the associated stress, allowing him to express his creativity in a healthier, more fulfilling way.
For now, I must prioritize his happiness and help him find that balance.