Sebastian had his first swim meet of the new season last weekend. He was excited because it was at a pool we’ve been to before. We arrived a few minutes prior to his report time on Saturday morning.
Sebastian was eager and ready to go. Since it was a pool he’s been to, he was familiar with the warm-up routine. The facility actually had two pools: a competition pool and a smaller warm-up pool. During warm-ups, a team is assigned to one of the two pools. Sebastian really likes warming up in the competition pool.
Leading up to the meet, he developed a plan in his mind of what warm-ups would look like. His team was going to be assigned to the competition pool. He would be first in line and the first to jump in, and I would be recording it with his Kindle. I would start the recording when his coach gave him the direction to hop in.
This is his way of controlling things, and it’s a hard habit to break. We are trying our best, but Sebastian is very rigid and likes things to be the way he envisions them.
Unfortunately, his coach told him that their team was going to warm up in the smaller pool. Of course, an epic meltdown ensued. It was so bad that an assistant coach came over and asked me for help. Swim meets have strict rules about who can be on deck, and since I wasn’t a volunteer, I wasn’t allowed. After some time, the lifeguard permitted me to get on deck since Sebastian was becoming a safety concern.
I immediately sat down on his level and tried to calm him down. He was curled into a ball and screaming and crying. After some time, I got him under control enough to get him off the deck and into the lobby. I was trying to find a space that was out of view from the pool, secluded, and quiet. That was a hard task because swim meets are usually crowded with a lot of noise and commotion.
He was still in hysterics, and people were staring. However, this was the first time I didn’t feel embarrassed by the stares. I was being the strong and calm mother that Sebastian needed. Once we found a relatively quiet place, I tried all of my calming techniques with him. I had him on my lap with my arms around him, having him feel my breathing, so he could slow his down. I also tried to talk to him in a soothing voice. We said a prayer out loud to ask for strength and peace. I continued to sit there patiently while he still cried. These strategies weren’t really working, but I remained calm.
The next thing I tried was going outside. I know that sometimes leaving the place that makes him upset often works. We walked around looking at the outdoor pool. I started to notice him calming down a bit. Then, I played a walking game with him to distract his brain. That was finally what worked.
Once he was fully deescalated, I brought him back to the pool deck. I then took my seat in the stands. I passed a parent volunteer who was near me the entire time I was sitting with Sebastian, trying to calm him down. She told me how amazing I was with him and that I was a kind, compassionate, and loving mother. She said she was in awe of me.
A comment like that fuels me to continue responding to Sebastian’s meltdowns with love rather than frustration. People are always watching, and I can be a model for how to react to challenges. My Sebastian is special and just needs a little extra support and love to work through his struggles.
Sebastian’s first event of the meet was the 50 freestyle, and he swam a personal record to qualify for districts! I was so proud that he was able to bounce back and excel in his favorite event.