With Thanksgiving this week, I wanted to share a post I actually wrote a year ago, before I decided to move forward with creating this blog. It feels great to post this a year later, to see how far we’ve come. Thank you to all my followers and supporters who have tuned in to my journey with Sebastian.
At our Thanksgiving celebration, I enthusiastically shared with my husband’s family my interest in writing a blog. My brother-in-law, sister-in-law, and their significant others are highly educated and very successful in their lines of work. They asked insightful questions, ones I don’t think I was ready for. They made me realize that I didn’t really know what I wanted from this blog.
Do I want it hosted on a website or on social media? Am I trying to monetize it with a paywall? How will I promote it? Do I feel comfortable using TikTok or Instagram? So many questions and so many things to consider. I thought, I’m way too busy as a mother and teacher. I didn’t have the answers and felt defeated.
We drove home from my sister-in-law’s house, and I decided that I wasn’t going to move forward with a blog. In our family discussion, my husband said that he wasn’t entirely comfortable with me sharing Sebastian’s struggles so publicly. He’s only eight years old. My husband makes a good point — what will happen when he becomes an adult and reads what was written about him. It will follow him for life.
I want to make this point clear: I wasn’t quitting because of my family. They were interested in my blog and thought it was a great idea. In fact, the day after Thanksgiving, my brother-in-law texted me some words of encouragement. He said that his girlfriend, who has experience as an influencer, was excited about the potential of my blog and would do whatever she could to help me.
I quit because of fear and uncertainty. I realized I wasn’t prepared, and that scared me. A blog is a good idea, but I don’t know the first thing about blogging. I guess I also realized that I don’t like asking for help or relying on other people. I didn’t have a growth mindset.
During my Christmas break, I felt incomplete. When Sebastian and I were working through difficult moments, I was sad and overwhelmed. If I were blogging, it would have been therapeutic and helped me process my experiences. I think God was giving me signs that I should be writing and sharing our story with others.
Yes, getting a blog started will be hard. But I’m telling myself what I tell my students and Sebastian: I can do hard things. I will use my family and my village to help me. I will rely on others, and this will be great. It may be small, or it may become something big and beautiful. Whatever it does become, I am OK because I’ll be happy if I can help at least one other person understand that they are not alone.