The summer fair in our community is something Sebastian looks forward to all year. During the winter, his anticipation starts to build, and he’ll watch YouTube videos of people riding the Zipper, a ride he’s been longing to experience since he first laid eyes on it three years ago. The fair is the perfect summer escape, where every smile and laugh turns into a special memory.
Our local fair is usually the week before our family vacation. However, this summer it fell on the same week. To be honest, I wanted to skip it this year because the only day we could go was the Saturday we returned from the beach. We had a blast on vacation, but Sebastian did have several challenges, and I was mentally, physically, and emotionally exhausted. But I didn’t want to miss the fair because of the joy it brings Sebastian.
This would be his third year going to the fair. The previous two years, Sebastian struggled to wait in line or was frustrated because he was too tall or too short for a particular ride. My challenge is sticking to a budget while managing the cost of rides, games, and food. That’s not easy. Sebastian often has to hear the word “no,” and that can trigger some unexpected behaviors.
I was nervous about bringing him to the fair; I wasn’t sure he’d be able to handle it. That morning, I devised a plan I thought might work. I told Sebastian that, in order for us to go to the fair, he’d have to earn (through good behavior) the four letters that spell “fair.” I figured this would motivate him to keep his hands to himself and use only kind words.
The next part of my plan was to find a friend — and he doesn’t have many — who would want to go to the fair with Sebastian. One of his friends was at the beach, so he wasn’t available. I texted the father of Sebastian’s other friend, asking if she could go. I was a bit nervous because they had already been to the fair three days in a row, but the great thing about this family is that they understand the challenges we face and how important their daughter’s friendship is to Sebastian. Without hesitation, the father said “yes.”
Sebastian earned the four letters, and before we left for the fair, I tried to be proactive and review my behavioral expectations, as well as how Sebastian could be a good friend. I explained to him that if he didn’t show expected behavior (calm body, kind words, hands to self, taking turns, waiting patiently), we would have to leave the fair.
He was ready and excited … but I was not! I was anxious that he might have a meltdown at some point. As he gets older, the public meltdowns are getting harder for me to handle. I often sense that people think a boy as old as he is shouldn’t be throwing tantrums. As I drove to the fair, I prayed but had a very bad feeling that things were not going to go well.
I was wrong. Sebastian waited calmly in line, took turns with his friend choosing the next ride, and did not have a single meltdown. I even let him ride the Zipper, even though I told him he wouldn’t be allowed to until he was in middle school. He was so proud of himself for being brave.
I’m thankful that Sebastian got to experience the fair just like any other kid his age. Seeing his excitement warmed my heart. He had so much fun that, the next day, he imaginatively recreated the fair in our backyard using frisbees and other toys as the rides.
I’d say this year’s fair was a win! Sebastian just needed a chance to show he could be successful, and I’m glad I gave it to him.